


with such big brains it's a surprise you didn't figure it out ealier

by jedormis (cettevieestbien)



Series: OTP + less than 500 words [12]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Human Diggle, Jeffrey Dahmer mentions, vampire felicity, werewolf oliver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 02:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5690683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cettevieestbien/pseuds/jedormis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No, I am not Jeffrey Dahmer, I'm a werewolf, Felicity. And you're a vampire. We don't have to hide now!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	with such big brains it's a surprise you didn't figure it out ealier

**Author's Note:**

> Written on May 2, 2015. I've only seen parts of s3, but not all of it. Consider this an au.
> 
> Jeffrey Dahmer is an evil guy, he did bad shit to people (killed them & more). Look up at own discretion. (Warning for cannibalism if you do.)

Felicity really hadn't meant to get involved with Oliver and Diggle, but it had happened before she could even think.

 

Oliver and Diggle weren't like her. They were human, and she certainly wasn't. At least, not anymore. Oh, if only Oliver had met her a few years earlier....

 

But she wasn't going to dwell on that, because she really, really couldn't. 

 

Oliver had seen her sinking her teeth into a cow. He'd found her on one of the rare nights when he patrolled but she had the night off.

 

And because of her stupidity in hiding her biggest secret, she had to figure out a way to explain what she was to Oliver, and she had about, oh... 3 seconds to come up with an entire speech about how she wouldn't hurt him could he please not tell anyone.

 

She'd like to say something graceful, live up to the term she has to call herself, but no, of course not, her brain decided she needed to blurt something out fast.

 

"I'm not going to suck your blood," she says instead of 'I'm new to this, and I'm trying and it's so hard, please help me!'

 

Oliver gets an odd look, a mix of pleased and confused. But then he lets out a puff of air meant to be a laugh and tells her, "my blood wouldn't taste good to you. Too salty for vamps, you know?"

 

The word 'vamps' flips a switch inside Felicity. "I'm new to this, okay! I'm so new to this, a few years ago I was like you, a normal, happy, ignorant human! And I'm trying my best to not go all Jeffrey Dahmer on everyone! And I don't appreciate you coming over here laughing at me when I'm trying to control myself, thank you! And - wait, 'too salty'? What does  _ too salty  _ mean? Do you know what human blood tastes like? Are  _ you  _ Jeffrey Dahmer?"

 

Oliver's face had glazed over like it always did when she went on a rant, but it all came back into sharp focus on her when she said that last question. 

 

"No, I am not Jeffrey Dahmer, I'm a werewolf, Felicity. And you're a vampire. We don't have to hide now!"

 

Felicity glares at him and he raises an eyebrow in question.

 

"Diggle...?" She asks leadingly and also a little unbelievingly, because seriously, how could Oliver forget about him? And Roy, for that matter? 

 

"Yeah, by the way, you two," Diggle responds, in both of their comms, receiving but not giving any noise, "I already knew. For our... profession, you guys are horrible at keeping secrets."

 

Felicity's body decides to rebel against the stereotype once again and she blushes bright red. Oliver makes a weird sound in his throat, sounding sad and submissive.

  
Okay, seriously,  _ how did they not know _ ?


End file.
